The Gumball Pastor

The following is part of a note I gave to Lois Fitzpatrick after the death of her husband, Herb.  I went to his funeral today.  Along with walking with my parents for 35 years, he also baptized me and helped foster the love I have for Jesus from when I was very young.  He was a mentor and friend.


Some of my earliest memories in my life are of a gumball machine.  As a tradition, after a Sunday morning hug from Pastor, he would invite me to go into his office and get a gumball from a machine fully stocked in his office.

But this was a special gumball machine.  It was free, no quarters needed.

Far from being concerned about the undersides of pews, it was a small gift Pastor Fitz gave to me.  But small tokens often expose great qualities in a man.

For me, Pastor Fitz was a lot like his gumball machine.  Always open, always available, free to dispense knowledge and wisdom, and he was definitively sweet.

His presence was always the understated centerpiece of a room, but what he provided was not something intrinsic within himself, but rather something that was placed within him.  With the love, grace, and humility He received from His personal relationship with Jesus, he then poured out freely and willingly to others.

I am proud to have had Pastor Fitz as my mentor, friend, and spiritual grandfather,
but I am most proud on this day to call him...

my gumball Pastor.

The Struggle of Surrender

Surrender

What are some things that come to mind when you hear that word?  Maybe white flags, hands raised, guns down, the French?

In our American philosophy, surrender is usually something that is associated with the weak-minded and the weak-willed.  Our society prides itself in rewarding the biggest, baddest, and brawniest of persons.  Businesses and wars are run with a “we-will-never-surrender” mentality, and for the most part…it’s worked.

Unfortunately, surrender from a Christian perspective is viewed in the same way.  When we hear a phrase such as “I must surrender myself to God”, it is viewed as a limitation of freedom, fun, or creativity and thus is substituted with rote obedience.  But I think it’s something a lot different.

Surrender is a struggle.

Think about it.  Jesus died to set us free right?  But we are also called to surrender our bodies down as living sacrifices.  To mesh the two, freedom must be seen through a different lens: the struggle to surrender leads to freedom.

The Bible says that Jesus gave himself up for us, surrendering to His Father’s will.  We are called to do the same.  True, biblical surrender of our lives, wills, ambitions, and aspirations seems at first to be extremely limiting.  But there is a second part to this story.

In the proportion to which we surrender ourselves, we get unchained from the slavery of shame, guilt, ‘religious’ rules, and regulations.  The struggle to continuously surrender to God produces in the life of a Christian the increasing ability to live life the way we truly want to, freed from the desire to sin and freed to the desire to ‘put away violence and practice justice and righteousness’.

When surrender is seen as a struggle which results in freedom FROM sin and TO Christ-likeness, it becomes a joy instead of a burden, a love instead of an obligation, and allows us to engage with the true heart of the Gospel.

"Love is an attempt at penetrating another being, but it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual."

      - Octavio Paz